disciple of Jesus, missionary, introvert, blogger, husband and friend to Amanda
Last week I wrote a post called I’m Right, You’re Wrong And Why It Deosn’t Matter. I mentioned that I like to be right all the time. I basically want to win arguments that matter. Which ones matter? The arguments that affect me personally. My goal was to keep my mouth shut when I want to prove I am right.
I have been thinking about this goal and want to make it more constructive. I want to understand people more. What are their motives, why are they saying what they are saying. Sure I could keep my mouth shut and then enter Dave Land where I try to figure out all of the twists and turns of the last movie I watched. I am already good at that considering I am ADHD-PI. I believe I can develop the habit of being attentive to those who are around me when it matters most. When does it matter most? When they are talking.
It is true that people say a lot of stuff each and every day that doesn’t amount to much. Whether a person is telling me something that is deeply important to them or if a person is trying to argue with me I want to probe deeper into why they think what they think. If I win an argument then fine but that is not my motive. We all want to win and we all want to be understood. My goal is to understand. I want to understand the person I am speaking with. I want them to understand I care about what they have to say and I hope they will recognize that I do so through my listening ability and the questions I ask.
We desire to be understood. Do you seek to understand other people?
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My wife and I are cross-cultural workers in Peine, Germany. We serve at the Christusgemeinde and our main focus is follow-up work with the Let's Start Talking ministry.
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Nailed it. I wrote about this in my “How to be interesting” series. My point was, “If you want to be interesting, be interested.” Sounds an awful lot like, “If you want to be understood, be understanding,” which also sounds like, “If you want to find your life, lose it.”
By the way, this advice is what motivated me to start commenting more. And guess what? Once I started commenting, I stopped caring as much about getting comments in return and focused more on listening and participating in what others were doing. It’s amazing the advice the Bible gives… if we’d only start apply it more often.
-Marshall Jones Jr.
bondChristian´s last blog ..Friendship in evangelism?: My guest post and a couple other resources
Very interested read you have here. Found your blog through a link have been stuck reading some of your posts today. I really like this one about “be understanding”.
What do you like about it?